


I've Won. I've Won. I've... Won?

by NeverEndingRead



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Comfort, Drama, Friendship, Hurt, Life - Freeform, M/M, Romance, Schitt's Creek - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:40:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28497714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverEndingRead/pseuds/NeverEndingRead
Summary: Rose Apothecary is thriving! It's time to franchise and David can think of no better place for their next location than New York. The time for launch is soon approaching and he can't wait. However, what's the saying about how if one part of your life is thriving you have to be prepared to let the other parts slack? David must learn to bring balance back to his life and examine what he really wants from his winnings.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 14
Kudos: 39





	1. Back to the Beginning

Even well into his forties, David Rose still did not like to rise out of bed before 10 AM. 11 AM at the latest. He once again found himself sitting at Alexis’ kitchen table with a bowl of cereal and toast and she nowhere to be seen.

A door behind him opened, but he didn’t bother turning around. Alexis’ roommate was nice, but she wasn’t one for conversation and had only had a few handfuls of conversations with David since his arrival. She gave him one brief nod before retreating back to her room a bowl of cereal securely in her hand.

David smiled at the closed door, remembering the first time he had spoken to her.

“Hello. I’m David.” He pointed to Alexis who sat across the table. “Her… Alexis’ brother.”

Acel stopped to stare at him, a bowl of oatmeal balancing on a potholder in her hand. She nodded to him before mumbling a hello around a mouthful of oatmeal as she disappeared back into her room.

David quickly turned to Alexis, eyebrows as high as they could possibly go. “What did I do?”

Alexis laid her palm flat on the table toward him. “Nothing, David.” She reassured him. “Acel is just, very private around new people. Seriously, you wouldn’t believe how long it took me to get her to start talking to me.” She flipped her hair behind her shoulder.

David stared at Alexis a beat longer, but with his cereal growing soggy in his bowl he quickly put all his attention back onto his food.

“David?” Alexis asked drawing out his name, her tone soft. David looked up at her waiting. Knowing what she was going to ask. “Um, like not to make you feel stupid, but where is Patrick? He was supposed to be with you."

David swallowed. He could tell her. He could tell her anything. But he didn’t. “We decided it was best if he looked after things in Schitt’s Creek while I oversaw the opening here.”

“But, David, it’s going to take months to open the store, surely,”

David let his spoon clang to the bottom of his bowl. “Alexis. It’s fine.”

“But, David.”

“My god!” He picked up his spoon and resumed eating. Alexis continued to stare at him but didn’t push the issue.

“Have a good day David.” She said as she left for work, her phone going off in her hand nonstop.

This time David did let the cereal in his bowl go soggy as he suddenly wanted to be anywhere but that table. While clearing away his mess, trying not to let his rising anxiety get the better of him, his phone buzzed in his pocket. Only after a slight hesitation, he chased after the message.

The anxiety left him, but the tension didn’t. They were less than ten days away from launching Rose Apothecary New York and still the problems leading up to the launch had not ceased. He was needed at the store and couldn’t put off keeping the morning to himself any longer.

As he shrugged on his jacket David smiled at the thought that Patrick would have been able to make him laugh about his slow pace, something along the lines of the store launching without him if he didn’t hurry up.

By the time he reached the elevator the smile couldn’t be held.


	2. It's Been Five Years

Stevie handed him a glass of wine. David took it and passed the glass to Patrick and was soon given another glass. This one he kept for himself. Together the three of them raised their glasses and clinked them together. They sat in their usual circle of chairs in Rose Apothecary after a long work week, winding down, and enjoying the deepening darkness beyond the windows. 

Patrick stretched out his leg, his heel resting on part of David's seat. David smiled at him, placing a hand on Patrick's ankle, rubbing his thumb back and forth. They settled into the silence for a while, enjoying their wine, a deep red blend Patrick found only a few hours outside of town. A couple not much older than David and Patrick had been making wine together since the infancy of their marriage. As they had told David and Patrick, they only sold it to friends and family at first and then tried selling online. The bottles sold a small handful every month, but they couldn’t keep sells up well enough to turn a profit on the wine’s creation. After buying a bottle and sharing it with David, they agreed they needed the blend in Rose Apothecary. Before calling the potential clients David shared the wine with Stevie to get her opinion on the wine without telling her where it came from on a night much like the one they were sharing then. David waited for Stevie's honest opinion before telling her the store hadn't started stocking it yet when she asked for a couple of bottles to take home. Patrick made sure to include a few bottles for her in their first purchase for the store. David smiled. That had been a great year.

Patrick smiled back at him and Stevie bounced her gaze back and forth between them. 

"Secrets to share?" Stevie asked.

David shook his head no, but Patrick didn't say anything. In fact, he even blushed a little. David and Stevie shared a giddy look and leaned in closer to Patrick. Patrick only laughed in his breathy way of his and grinned hard at them before taking a careful sip of his wine.

“Wouldn’t have anything to do with why you wanted an after-work drink,” David asked as he waved his finger in a circle indicating all of them, “would it?”

Patrick still grinning, “It might have a little something to do with that yeah!”

“The phone call earlier?” Stevie asked him, her curiosity barely contained.

David waved at the pair of them, “Excuse me? What phone call?”

Patrick didn’t answer him right away, but Stevie was all too happy to fill in the silence. It was never any fun if she wasn’t picking at one of the boys if not both.

“While you were off grabbing a tea,” She looked to Patrick who only grinned at her. “I walked in just as Patrick picked up the phone. I have never seen him tense like that before David,”

David’s mouth hung open in a, “What!” that never found its voice. “Well? Who was it?” His voice rose an octave.

“I don’t know.” Stevie continued. “Patrick quickly said, and I quote, “Not here. Give me a minute.”, and then ran to the back room.” She wangled her eyebrows at David.

David’s heart was pounding. He couldn’t think of the first person who would have Patrick running to the storeroom for a clandestine phone call or for whatever reason. He couldn’t stop the sudden rush to know everything there was no know before he exploded.

“Scandalous!” He cried. Turning to Patrick, who hadn’t lost his grin through Stevie’s recount of that particular moment of the afternoon, asked, “Well? What was the call about?”

Patrick scooted to the edge of his seat and sat up straight. His leg fell from David’s chair, David’s hand falling away from his ankle in the process. He took another long pull of his wine before giving an answer. He squared his gaze on David who suddenly felt the weight of the entire room between them, he could feel Patrick’s next words before they had fully formed, knew their impact before they could have time to scar and sink into their every decision going forward.

“For the last few weeks,” Patrick looked down and shook his head slightly, “Well, for the past month really, I’ve been talking with a few programs and agencies about more grant money.”

Out of all the things David had expected Patrick to say, gaining grant money wasn’t anywhere on his list. “Grant money? Grant money? Money for what Patrick?” David asked arms spread out wide to his sides.

Stevie sat back and sipped her wine, watching her favorite show of them and let the conversation play out. She knew and she knew that David had to know, at least a little, that there was only so many things grant money is used on and there had only been one thing that Patrick had ever filled out applications before to get grant money for in the past.

Patrick grinned that boyish, full teeth grin that David could never fail to skip a heart beat over. “We’ve been doing good, David.”

“I know that.” David waved his hand interrupting.

Patrick continued unfazed. “It’s been five years.”

David opened and closed his mouth a few times but didn’t have anything to say to that because of course he knew that too. What else was five years other than… five years? He looked to Stevie. She was no help as she only stared back at him grinning the whole time at him, that way she does without ever showing any of her teeth.

Patrick shoulders shook a little with his laughter before he looked up at David suddenly serious. “You don’t remember do you?”

David gave a rapid look around the room, turning his whole head in the process. “What that we’d have to renew our grants every five years? No Patrick I don’t remember that seeing,” He swept his hand over the façade of the entire store, “I was the one managing the aesthetics after all.”

“Last month, David,” Patrick shot at him quickly, “we talked about this and a whole conversation a year ago before that.”

By this point Stevie had lost her smile. David glanced at her. Together they realized the time for teasing Patrick during this conversation was over. David turned his eyes downward, his whole face scrunching trying to place the conversations Patrick was talking about.

“Patrick,” David said slowly to make sure Patrick understood he was being as serious as possible. “If we need to renew the grants then surely we should do that.”

“And by “we” you mean me.” Patrick clarified.

David drew out his answer, a small, only half teasing smile coming through, “Yes.”

Patrick huffed out a laugh. “It’s not about renewing, David. It’s about acquiring new grants for a new store.”

Patrick let his words hang in the silence that followed.

The moment Patrick said the words “new store” David instantly remembered what he had been talking about. Two years ago, Rose Apothecary started seeing a steady rise in profits and they joked that at that rate their five year plan could probably handle franchising. The next year the profits not only grew but expanded at the same time and they sat down and had a serious talk about it. For weeks.

Patrick spent the time to get together several projection growth charts and walked David through all the numbers and possibilities. They had agreed that if by their fifth year mark the store was still rising in profits and Patrick thought the numbers sound good they would investigate branching the business. At first, David had asked consistently every few months or so how they were looking. As time went on he kept forgetting to ask, getting caught up once more by the day to day and not thinking too much about what would be happening several years in the future.

But Patrick had not forgotten.

“You guys are going to franchise?” Stevie asked excited, her head turning form one to the other.

Patrick took a long pull of his wine. David mimicked him. They never broke eye contact. Stevie bounced in her chair.

Patrick shrugged. “The numbers are good, David. They’re really good. We could have started the process last year if we wanted.”

“Then why… why didn’t we?” David asked. Pure curiosity.

Patrick shrugged again. “I wanted to be more than sure. More than comfortable with our savings before moving forward.”

David gave him a soft look. Of course, he did. His ever-responsible husband. Patrick smiled at him and David returned the favor.

“What do you say?” Patrick asked. “Should I get the paperwork started?”

David snapped to attention. “We’re going to decide this right now?”

Patrick nodded.

“David,” Stevie breathed. “Do you want trumpets, a red carpet?”

David turned to her, all sass. “Maybe. I’m not saying that wouldn’t be incorrect. Lovely gesture actually.”

She and Patrick laughed.

“David?” Patrick asked again.

David looked between them breathing in deep, his heart swelling, but a ball of something he couldn’t place settled into his stomach at the same time. “Yes.” He couldn’t stop grinning.

Patrick launched himself out of his chair and across the short space between them. He trapped David’s face between his hands and pulled him into a kiss, hard and excited.

“I love you.” Patrick whispered against David’s lips before kissing him again this one softer and intimate and perfect.

David kissed back accepting everything Patrick was sending him and trying to give back in return around the laughs and giggles they were both letting escape.

“Whoo!” Stevie shouted and jumped up from her chair.

She bounced over to the wine bottle and topped off their glasses while they were busy congratulating and thanking each other with their mouths.

Patrick pulled away and sat back down. Stevie handed them their glasses and together they raised them.

“To Rose Apothecary.” Patrick offered.

“To the future.” Stevie added.

“To us.” David finished.

They clinked their glasses and took the deepest sips yet. They sat for a few more hours in Rose Apothecary, laughing, drinking, planning, and for David and Patrick, kissing. 


	3. We Have Ten Days: Part 1

David took the familiar route from Alexis’ apartment to the subway. He was only a few blocks from the store, but a few New York blocks were different than Schitt’s Creek and there was no way he was walking that distance. If Patrick had been here he would have insisted they go by foot. David took his seat, a smile playing at his lips.

“Go on a walk with me?” Patrick asked him one evening.

Fall had come to Schitt’s Creek early that season. The days were growing colder earlier and many of the evening customers began tapering off. To balance their lack of traffic Patrick and David decided to close earlier a few nights a week, which prompted Patrick into discussing a different Fall schedule for the store altogether. They sat snuggled on their couch, cups of hot tea in hand. David sipped his tea, hand on Patrick’s leg, rubbing gently up and down, an unconscious motion. David turned to look at Patrick, a crease forming between his brows.

“It’s freezing outside.”

“David, it’s not freezing.”

“What would you call it then?”

“Chilly.” Patrick grinned and bumped David’s shoulder. “Come on, take a walk with me.”

David frowned, but the earnest gaze on Patrick’s face had won him over instantly. What kind of husband would he be if he gave in right away? David took a long pull of his tea before setting his cup on the coffee table in front of him and then pulled himself off of the couch and away from Patrick’s comfortable embrace. David held out his hand to help Patrick to his feet.

“Let me grab my jacket.”

They spent the evening strolling down their block, hands interlocked, stopping to point out some oddity or beauty with the land around them, and bringing each other in close for kisses all with the fading sun casting the perfect autumn glow around them making David feel like he was in a gilded age painting. 

Once they fully converted the store over to winter hours Patrick was regularly able to talk David into evening walks, after an evening cup of tea, the pair began to throw on more layers without prompting in preparation for their sunset rendezvous.

David sighed and leaned his head back against the subway wall. He missed Patrick. He missed how easy everything had been between them. It hadn't been that way for almost a year and it was his fault. He knew that. Patrick kept asking him what was wrong, tried more than once to tell him they didn't have to franchise if he wasn't ready, but it wasn't that. At least, it wasn't only that. 

David flipped his phone over and over in his hand debating if he should text Patrick. He pulled up their messages and stared. What would he say? He could say hi, but then what? The conversation would be over two awkward sentences later and David couldn't stomach the cringe nature of it and the silence that would follow. No. Best not to say anything at all. Better to wait until he had something to report. Once off the subway, David worried over his unsent text to Patrick the whole way to the store. The storefront loomed in front of him, the windows and facing all done up with the Rose Apothecary name and colors, and David took a moment to prepare himself before entering into the fray. He pushed thoughts of Patrick to the back of his mind making room for all the stresses of the launch waiting for him on the other side.

His ears were immediately assaulted by the high voice of Laney, the manager they had hired for the New York location. By the sounds of it, she was going over inventory discrepancies with a few of their new clients. She caught David's eye and rolled her eyes. He moved over to her side studying the data she had on the clipboard. Laney pointed to a few of the numbers and her handwritten notes. A few cases were missing from a couple of different items. David frowned. He had spoken with the new clients several, several times over inventory before they sent out the stock. He had been assured everything was ready and would reach him before launch. Ten days? Was there time for everything? He didn't know. He gave Laney's shoulder a couple of pats before leaving her to handle the situation. 

Laney had been one of their early decisions, not far after deciding on a storefront location. Patrick had been quick to point out that they would need someone there right away to start directing traffic. They would want most everything organized before the two of them arrived to handle the last months before the opening. David and been impressed by her so far. He hoped that helping take care of most of the launch details wouldn't overwhelm her before the store actually opened. He hated to think about the possibility of trying to find a replacement for her before the store could open. They were definitely well out of time for that. 

Laney suddenly was waving at him, nodding quickly to something the vendor was saying but was trying to get his attention on another part of the store. She pointed to the counter eyes bugging out. David opened up his arms in a, "What?" gesture. She quickly said into the phone, "I'm sorry give me one second." and then placed the call on hold. 

"I'm sorry David, I've been on the phone all morning. I've been trying to get a moment to call you."

"Call me about what?"

"Your-"

But she didn't get a chance to finish. At that moment someone walked out from the back room behind the counter, tablet in hand tapping away. "Laney, you were right about those missing boxes, but fortunately everything else is accounted for. What is the client saying?" 

Patrick looked up from his tablet and froze. David could only stare at him with his mouth hanging open. Nobody moved. Nobody spoke. David and Patrick stared at each other, the heaviness in the air threatening to collapse the whole building. Only when the phone beeped to remind them of a call on hold, making them all jump, did Laney turn away from them and resume her call at a volume a little louder than she would have normally.

"Where have you been, David?" Patrick asks.

David shook his head quickly. "Where... where have I been? What are you doing here, Patrick?"

Patrick's eyebrows furrowed lower. "We're launching in ten days. Surely you didn't think I would miss it?"

"N-no." David labored to say, his mind still not having caught up with the situation. 

David stared around the store and then at Laney who was purposefully turning away from them and concentrating only on her phone call. 

"David?" Patrick said suddenly. "It's almost noon."

"I know that." David moved to stand in front of Patrick, who had his arms crossed over his chest. 

David looked him over, up and down. The memory of Patrick wasn't doing his husband justice. If at all possible Patrick looked better, healthier, than David remembered, though around his eyes seemed tired. Which was to be expected given the stress of opening a new store. Patrick shifted under David's gaze. 

"What have you been doing all morning, David? We are too close to launch to lose even a single hour right now."

David nodded noting that Patrick kept his arms crossed over himself not reacting to the attention David was trying to reign in. He hadn't seen Patrick in two months. Despite everything going on between them, the sight of his husband standing in front of him had David's heart beating rapidly, his limbs gaining a restlessness he didn't know what to do with.

"When did you get here?" David asked, not at all calm.

Patrick's eyebrows shot up. "Well, David, I helped Laney open the tasks for today at eight!"

David frowned and glanced down at his phone. Sure enough, he didn't have a single missed call or text from Patrick all morning. Patrick knew him. Knew how David preferred his mornings and yet he was still reprimanding David about his punctuality. 

"In New York, Patrick! When did you get to New York?"

Patrick hesitated. "Last night."

"Excuse me? Last night? Why didn't you call me?"

"It was a late flight, David."

David made a deep sound of discontent. Patrick was too good at doing that, at dodging direct questions with logic with cracks so small David couldn't get his thick fingers in them well enough to grab hold. David wanted to reach out and take hold of Patrick's shoulders, a familiar position he assumed when talking with Patrick. His arms twitched toward Patrick, but David managed to pull them back and shove his hands in his pockets. Patrick watched the movement, interest sweeping over his features for just a moment. 

"We have a lot of unpacking to do," Patrick said moving around David but breaking the space between them by placing a hand on David's arm as he passed giving him one light stroke before his attention was caught by his tablet once more. 

David took a few moments for his brain to catch up with what Patrick was asking him to do. He turned in a circle and assessed the room. His eyes fell on Patrick who was busy matching boxes to his data on the tablet. David hadn't realized how much stress he had been carrying around until he saw Patrick. The sight of him alone had David feeling lighter. The physical distance between them had been wearing on David more than he realized. With a small smile on the corner of his mouth David nodded and forced his brain to work through the task list for the day.

"We have a couple of more tables arriving today for the middle of the floor," David told Patrick who had begun to organize the boxes in preparation for display.

"When?" Patrick began flipping through to a different app on his tablet. 

David checked his phone. "Within the hour."

Behind them, Laney hung up the phone and announced, "Okay! The clients found the accounting error on their end and assured me the missing product will be arriving before the store opens, expedited to us at no extra charge."

"Great, Laney. Good job." Patrick praised.

Remembering their time with opening Rose Apothecary shelving everything always took more time than David would have thought possible. The new store was close to size and a half of what their home location was. David smiled. Before they put the Rose Apothecary logo on the building it had been a clothing department store. David looked up old pictures of the previous business to get an idea of how they arranged furniture. Apart from a few poor space choices, much of the layout David decided to adopt. David began helping Patrick with sorting the boxes. Working in such close proximity, they took turns to stare at each other, several times catching the other's eye. Neither of them could muster a full smile, but it also wasn't nothing. With each glance form Patrick David's heart picked up speed. 

Patrick hadn't told him he was flying in, hadn't contacted him to let him know he was in the city or that he was at the store. For close to a solid day Patrick had been so close by comparison and David hadn't known. Patrick hadn't wanted him to know. David didn't know what to think about that. The bell above the door chimed. All three of them turned to see who entered. Two men wearing jumpsuits stood in the door way, scanning the room, with clip boards in their hands.

"We have two tables for Rose, David at Rose Apothecary."

"Yes. Just place them here in the middle." David jumped in and directed.

"We just need a signature." The man said holding out his clipboard.

David awkwardly moved to sign for the tables. He took the clipboard from the man and read over the paperwork. The details looked in order. Looking over the men's shoulders David could see two more delivery people standing next to their tables just beyond the stoop. Even with his quick glance he could tell the store he bought them from did not disappoint, from that distance they looked perfect. 

"Good." David nodded, signing the document and handing the clipboard back.

He tried to get to the side of the room out of the way while the four deliverers brought in the large tables. With all the boxes lining the walls and other available surfaces, David found himself standing directly next to Patrick, bumping into his side. David motioned to the tables and smiled at Patrick. His first real smile since finding Patrick at the store that morning. Patrick grinned back, pleased with tables David had chosen. They were similar enough to the ones purchased for their home store as to be on brand, but different enough to warrant their own feel and style, creating the aesthetic backdrop for the New York location. 

The movers quickly left after getting the tables in place and after that David barely had time to think with the rest of the day's events happening one right after the other. 


	4. We Have Ten Days: Part 2

David and Patrick began unboxing the stock after the movers left and fell into a familiar routine of laying everything out onto the display tables. There was a bit of back and forth on where to showcase their new supplies, specific to clients around the New York area, but David couldn't help but thrill at the ease of how they moved around each other. They exchanged glances, smiles, and flushed cheeks. David could almost believe it was any other afternoon in Schitt's Creek after a busy day. More than once he wanted to run his hand along Patrick's back as he passed behind him carrying an empty box to the bin in the back or wanted to lean in and kiss his cheek when staring at him became too much, but David didn't allow himself to do any of those things. This wasn't another warm afternoon in Rose Apothecary where they were free to laugh and touch and make out in the back room.

The door chimed again, about half of the boxes unpacked and on display. David had moved on to organizing the shelving while Patrick updated his inventory list for the hundredth time. Laney busied herself with setting up the front counter and organizing all the smaller components needed to run the day to day. They all stopped their work and watched the door. Two more people came through, but this time David was happy to see them. Alexis bounced in waving to Laney and up to David with her boyfriend, Drew, coming in behind all smiles. 

"David! We've come to ask," she trailed off as her attention was drawn to Patrick in the back of the room. "Patrick!" She said surprised. 

After a brief moment of looking at David with the side of her eye, Alexis adapted and bounced over to Patrick throwing her arms around him. Drew remained in the middle of the room a small crease between his eyes and the sight of Patrick.

"I didn't know you were in town." She gushed to Patrick.

David mumbled, "Join the club." 

Patrick shot him a dark look before turning his smile back to Alexis. She looked between them a moment before giving David a hard once over. David knew she was desperate for information even more so now that Patrick had mysteriously shown up in the city. David hadn't been too forthcoming with why he had arrived without Patrick two months ago. 

"Well, I think it's great." Alexis swept her hair away from her brow line. "It's great to see you, Patrick."

"You too Alexis. I hope David hasn't been too much trouble bunking with you"

David scowled at him. Alexis turned and scrunched her nose at David. "He's been good. A little mopey."

Patrick's eyes glued to him.

"I have not been... mopey!" David defended. "I have been hard at work," he swept a hand around the store, "getting a new business off the ground."

"Well while you were here stacking boxes, David." Patrick suddenly bit at him, "I've been maintaining Rose Apothecary and spreadsheets for everything here. You could have told me sooner things were so disorganized."

David went silent. He could see Patrick trying to smile along with his words, jibbing at him in his normal way, but the softness didn't come through. Emotion rose in his throat, but he swallowed it down. "They are perfectly organized thank you. Not everyone needs three hundred pages of spreadsheets to remember everything."

Again silence followed. Alexis watched both of them carefully. "Yeah," she said slowly. "She rushed over to Drew and pulled his hand to get him to move closer to Patrick. "Drew this is my brother-in-law, Patrick. Patrick this is my boyfriend, Drew."

Patrick's full smile was back. "I've heard a lot about you Drew. Great to finally meet you."

Drew shook the hand Patrick was offering and smiled. "You too. I love hearing about Alexis' life in Schiit's Creek."

"You both will need to visit soon after the opening here, get out of the city for a bit." Patrick offered.

David huffed, Patrick looked over, catching his eye roll. 

"That would be great, Patrick! But right now we came over to take you guys to lunch."

At the mention of food David's stomach growled. His half-eaten bowl of cereal seemed a lifetime ago now. "God, yes." David all but moaned. "I'm starved."

Alexis beamed and they all looked at Patrick. 

"Lunch sounds great, Alexis, thank you." 

Alexis turned her attention to Laney at the front counter. "You're welcome to join us, Laney." 

Laney smiled at her. "Thanks, Alexis, but I think," she trailed off eying David and Patrick, "I'll let all you guys catch up. Seems you haven't had much face time in a while."

Alexis gave Laney her softest "aw" face. "Thank you, Laney, that's so sweet." Alexis made her way to the door and called over her shoulder at Laney. "If we can bring you back anything just send us a message."

Laney smiled and waved them all out of the store. Patrick paused in the doorway and said, "We might be gone for a while. Make sure you take a break. We still have a long day ahead."

Patrick closed the door and found David waiting for him. David motioned for Alexis and Drew to wait for them down the street. Patrick half smiled at him. Too many thoughts were flying past the front of David's mind and he couldn't catch one fast enough. He loved that Patrick took so much care of others, it never failed to make his heart swell every time he got to witness his husband being the best of humanity. 

"Ready to go, David?" Patrick asked a softness in his voice David hadn't heard since fiding Patrick in the store that morning. 

David gave a vigorous nod. "mmhmm. Yes." 

Patrick walked ahead of him. Taking up Alexis' side and began chatting laughter clogging every word coming out of his mouth. David hung back and sent a text. So consumed by the sudden appearance of Patrick and being around his husband for the first time in two months, David quite forgot to check his phone. A few messages waited for him from both Acel and Stevie. The other's slowed down to keep pace with him as he punched out a few messages back.

To Acel he sent, "Alexis is buying lunch. Husband showed up in town. Fill you in later."

Several messages were from Stevie. Most all of them were her asking him to text her. David rolled his eyes. She obviously wanted to talk about Patrick's arrival, but David wasn't sure if he was mad at her for not telling him Patrick had left Schitt's Creek or not.

"You're in big trouble." He texted her. "I'll call you later."

David glanced up from his phone obvlious to the conversation the three of them were having. Patrick and Drew were getting along as if they hadn't just met ten mintues earlier. Before a reply came back he saw the interested glances Patrick was sending him and his conversations. David didn't feel the need to elaborate. 

"I'm not here to meddle, David." Stevie responded to him

David smiled. She had been saying that to him for a long time, not once had she ever meant it. 

"You could have at least told me Patrick was thinking of coming ten days early. I was completely caught of guard."

His phone buzzed almost isntatnly. "I didn't know he was leaving. He didn't say a word. We shared a beer and and then the next morning the store didn't open."

David couldn't help but smile at that. Patrick never made spur of the moment decisions like that. He needed an itenarary planned out. His chest swelled with warmth at the thought of Patrick dropping everything without warning to be in New York with him. David looked up and caught Patrick's eye, his gaze questioning and searching. David couldn't let him suffer. 

"Stevie says hi. She stopped by the store this morning."

Patrick's cheek coloured, but he only nodded.

"David stay off your phone." Alexis moved up to his side. She made sure the other two were occupied with thier own conversation before wispering to David, "and watch what you say to Acel."

David gave her a "what the fuck" look. Alexis rolled her eyes. 

"Ugh, David. I know you guys are friends, but seriously Acel thinks she's owed every bit of information possible. Don't be too open about your marital problems. Trust me."

"What marital problems?" David barely wispered back.

Alexis rolled her eyes and moved back up to Drew, looping her arm through his. David fell into step beside Patrick and like he had been all morning kept his arms to himself. 

Having lucnh with Alexis while Patrick was also present felt warm and familiar and before David had time to question his actions or over think them, his hand found it's way to Patrick's leg when the meal was over and they sat talking about anything that came to mind, enjoying their lunch hour. David only noticed the contact when Patrick's hand came over his to still the back and forth motion his thumb was making on the top of Patrick's thigh. David jumped a little and turned to gaze to Patrick. He was in the middle of arguing with Drew about some baseball team or other. Patrick smiled at David while squeezing his hand and continued arguing the finer points of the sport. 

David sat soaking in the company, sure in that moment that he hand't been as happy as he was just then, the entire time he'd been back in the city. Patrick interlocked their fingers and soon David's thumb found it's rhythm again on the back of Patrick's hand which turned into them taking turnes to run the pads of their fingers over each other's palms. The contact did more to lift David's mood than the entire meal ever could. 

Alexis excused herself to the ladies room and Drew stepped outside to take a phone call leaving David and Patrick alone at the table. Quite alone since their reunion. 

"That's nice." David smiled at Patrick as he ran his nails over David's palm lightly. 

Patrick smiled and dipped his head a little. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was coming to New York."

David found himself swollowing down tears once more. He nodded his head, but couldn't find his voice. 

There was so many things wrong with Patrick's sudden appearance, David didn't know where to start and didn't know if the resturant was the best place to have the conversation. David took his hand back leaving Patrick to flounder in midair for a second. They folded their hand onto the table in front of them. 

"Why... why didn't you?" David asked him.

Patrick shrugged, struggling for words. "I didn't know I was coming until I was on the plane. It really was a late flight, David. I had enough time to check into a hotel and sleep for a few hours before starting at the store this morning."

David nodded. The warmth in his chest cooled with the image, the knowledge that Patrick had been in the city that whole time and he had no idea. Late flights aside, he should have been told. 

"So David," Alexis said loudly sitting back down at the table. She noted Drew's abscense with a brief pause before continuing. "Are you needing any more help at the store. Drew and I can come by for a bit to help you guys get everything ready?"

Patrick instatnly perked up at the idea. David's response pulled a laugh from him. 

"You mean sample all the product?"

"Ugh, I mean help, David."

Drew joined them again at the table. He placed an arm around Alexis' shoulders as she continued to pick at the last bit of scraps on her plate. 

"No. I think the three of us will be able to get everything done. Any more people around the store might get a little confusing." 

Alexis nodded, her gaze once again flicking between David and Patrick, a frown on her face. 

"Thank you for lunch, Alexis. A great first day back in the city." Patrick said. 

"Any time button." She scrunched her nose at him. 

"Alexis." David whined at her. 

She smirked at David. "We'll walk back to the store with you anyway. I thought I saw a new lotion I wanted to take a closer look at."

"And by look at you mean sample?" David asked her. 

Alexis removed herself from the table without answering. 

Alexis only spent ten minutes searching through their new product before leaving with Drew. Laney returned from her break not long after Alexis left and they all resumed their long list of tasks hoping to get the store ready by opening. By the end of the day all the boxes were unpacked and the product either on the sale floor shelves or stocked in the back storeroom ready to be brought forward. David sat in one of the few chairs they were putting out for sale with the product nursing a bottle of water. He looked around the store smiling at what they had been able to get accomplished that day. His eyes drifted onto Patrick who was already watching him, a dark hooded gaze turned onto him full force. David almost choked on his water, but before he could process the hungry look his husband was sending him, the bell above the door chimed once again. 

Alexis came back but this time not with Drew but, Leaf. Alexis passed him her eyes boring into to him as she rushed over to Patrick gushing about how good the store looked. David sprang to his feet to meet Leaf as he came further into the room. David could feel Patrick's full attention on the unknown person.

"Hi." David greeted him happily. 

"Hey." Leaf pulled him into a hug, clapping him on the back a few times. "You about ready to go?" Leaf looked around the room and whistled. "Wow, great job in here man. From the way this place looked yesterday I wouldn't have thought this was the same store if you weren't standing here."

"Thank you." David said genually happy with the praise from his friend. 

Alexis and Patrick moved up to David and Leaf. By the way Patrick eyed Leaf up and down David could tell he found Leaf attractive and was trying to asses why he was here and at what level he and Leaf knew each other. 

"Um, if I could talk to David for just a moment," Alexis said stepping between David and Leaf and pulling him to the side with Patrick. "Drew and I are wanting to spend the evening relaxing,"

"Ew, Alexis. Why tell me that?" David said disgusted.

"Stop it, David. I just wanted to know if you were coming back to the apartment or if you were going to bunk with Patrick while he's here." She quickly turned to Patrick. "I'm sorry Patrick, but there isn't room in my place for you and David, it would just be easier if you guys, you know, shared your hotel."

"It's okay Alexis I completely understand. It shouldn't be a problem, right David?"

Leaf chose that moment to talk over them, drowning out any answer David may have given. "David are you coming, we're going to be late?"

David froze when he heard Patrick's quick intake of breath. He turned to his husband and noticed the completely vunerable open look Patrick was giving him. He knew in that moment exactly everything Patrick wanted to know, what he feared, and by that look alone he knew thier was more than hope for the two of them, that there was no love lost. But it was becuase of that love David knew he needed to get away from both Patrick and Alexis. He had been spiraling all day and he didn't need to blow up at the wrong moment ruining everything further. He had already had told Leaf he would grab dinner with him and David needed a moment away from Patrick.

"David?" Patrick questioned him. So much mixed in with the one utterance of his name. 

"Sorry, Leaf's right we're going to be late. We should go."

"David." Alexis scolded him. 

Patrick stood right in front of David, his eyes shining, his jaw set and nodded, holding out a paper covered card to David. David took it without glancing down to see what it was and stuffed it in his back pocket.

David's heart broke and he whispered to Patrick, "I'll see you later." 

"David," Patrick swallowed looking over David's shoulder at Leaf. "I need you to stay."

David shook his head. He knew what Patrick was asking, he knew why, and David knew only a small sliver was becuase of his spending time with Leaf. But he coulnd't. He _couldn't_. He needed a moment and he knew Patrick needed him to stay as much as David needed to be anywhere but there. It was an impossible decision in an impassible situation. 

"I have to go." He whispered.

Patrick's jaw hardened again. "Okay. Okay. Let's just... let's just get through these ten days, David."

"Then what?" David had to know.

Patrick shrugged. "I don't know." He breathed in deep shaking his head. "I don't know."

And because of how hard it had been to be around Patrick all day, because of how wonderful their small contact of hand holding had been at lunch, becuase David's heart still melted at the sight of his handsome, kind husband, David allowed himself to do what he couldn't when he saw Patrick that morning. David placed both of his hand on Patrick's shoulders and kissed him, quick and soft and nowhere near enough before he pulled away and lead Leaf out of Rose Apothecary NY. 


	5. Are You Going to Be Okay

David bustled around the store trying to get everything restocked before more people walked in. He was sure he would sell at least one product to every Schitt's Creek resident before the day was over. He sighed again his whole body falling into the sound. Not for the first time that day, David wished Patrick were there with him. And not just for the purpose of sharing the selling and restocking responsibilities. So, rarely did David and Patrick not work together, David always forgot how dull the day could seem without Patrick's constant cheer in the store.

Patrick wanted the morning to work on the grant applications, which David had graciously given, but then Patrick called after lunch saying he needed more time to work on them and that he wouldn't be in today at all if David was sure the store could be handled with only one person to manage everything. David assured him it was fine. He laughed at himself now. He thought it would be fine. How was he supposed to have known that everyone would run out of shampoo, lotions, face wash, and everything else all on the same day? 

Around 3:00 PM, during one of the rare pockets of quiet he had experienced all day, David decided to call up Patrick with the intention of asking him to come in after all.

"David, is everything okay?" Patrick asked by way of answering his phone. 

David rolled his eyes but smiled into the phone anyway. "Yes. What makes you think things weren't okay?"

Patrick laughed into his ear through the phone. David grinned wide, glad there was no one in the store to witness his love-struck grin. David smoothed down the front of his sweater, Patrick's laughs still echoing through the phone. 

"Everything's fine Patrick." David sat on the small stool they kept behind the counter.

He was going to take full advantage of the quietness of the store while he could and enjoy his moment with Patrick. David let his smile run wild.

There was a pause on the other end. "David," Patrick sighed. "If you need me to come in tell me."

David pinched his lip together. Talking to Patrick alone had melted most of his stress. It wasn't the traffic through the store that had bothered him. It was the simple principle of Patrick not being there for David to enjoy every moment of the day.

"No. Everything is fine here. I just... wanted to talk to you."

David glanced up at a shadow, but it was only someone passing the storefront doors. David exhaled in relief, he didn't want to hang up the phone. 

"I'm glad you called," Patrick admitted.

"Yeah?" David's grin threatened to break off his face.

Patrick huffed a laugh. David knew then Patrick's day had been every bit as stressful as his own. 

"I've hit walls here all day. All we need is one. Just one, David."

David frowned. The first time Patrick seemed to have acquired the grant for Rose Apothecary so easily. He had been so confident of getting the grant David never questioned it. Never asked him about the process. The idea and construction of such a thing completely foreign to David.

"Why, Patrick?" David asked. 

He hopped off the stool and wanded around the store floor not really paying attention to anything, his body needing the movement to keep up with his mind. The silence hung heavy, Patrick not saying a word.

"We need the grant money to open the new store." Patrick said slowly.

David could picture the confusion on his face, the crease between his brows as he tried to understand the direction David was coming from. 

"No. I know that, Patrick. But why do we need the grant money? Couldn't we open the store without it?"

"Technically, yes. But, David," Patrick struggled to find the right explanation.

"If it's not working, stressing you out, then forget it," David suggested. "You said so yourself the numbers are good. We don't need the extra money to continue." David paused, tapping a finger on the table beside him. "Right?"

Patrick hummed into the phone but didn't say anything. David grinned. Patrick was doing the math or redoing the math. 

"We don't. But David," Patrick drew in a deep breath. "If we start with the boost then we have more to fall back on and the more we have saved for the future and other reasons like taxes."

David shook his head. Tax breaks were one thing he didn't want his brain assaulted by. "Well, it won't be the end of the world if you can't get the grant, Patrick."

"Oh, I'm going to get the money." Patrick emphasized over the phone. David's mind flashed back to the first time Patrick had said that to him which David knew had been his intent. "If we don't get this grant we shouldn't franchise."

David didn't know what to say to that. He understood now why Patrick was spending not only his free time but his normal working hours trying to secure this piece of their future. A thought crossed his mind that if they couldn't get the grant then it would be alright if they couldn't open another store. They would always have time later to worry about branching the Rose Apothecary name. 

"It will be okay if we don't get the grant." David stated.

Only silence came through from the other line. 

"Do you-" Patrick cleared his throat and tried again. "You do want to do this, right?"

It was David's turn to remain silent. Of course, branching Rose Apothecary was exciting and a big business step and David knew he definitely wanted to take the business there, but when Patrick had suggested the idea David latched onto it know he wanted more, but as every detail demanded their attention he began to wonder if this was the more he needed. 

But it's been five years. And they had a plan. A goal. And more was something to be excited about not shy away from. 

"Yes, I want this. Thank you. For working so hard on this." David paused again. "I just want to make sure you're keeping your hand on the ball and not..." David sighed. "I just want to know if you'll be okay if the grant doesn't come through?"

Patrick's voice was rougher, deeper when he answered. "Yes, David. I'll be fine. This won't be our last chance to branch the business. We can always try again next year."

David smiled and nodded. "Good."

Patrick laughed in his ear. "And it's "eye", David."

David shook his head. "What?"

"It's eye on the ball, not hand."

"Oh my god."

Patrick laughed. Deep and rich and David's heart beat faster with the sound of it. 

The bell above the door chimed. Edi, a woman David only knew because of her frequent visits to the store, walked in and waved at him. David didn't need to rush off the phone as Edi beelined to her section browsing over the products she bought most often. However, Patrick heard the bell and shoed David off the phone.

"David, go help. I'll see you in a few hours."

"Good, but we'll need to start thinking about what we're doing for dinner soon because the muffin I had for lunch has already worn away and I'm feeling too light, I may not even make it all the way home."

Patrick laughed. "You don't have much longer, David."

"I love you." Patrick said.

"Love you too." David had already retreated to behind the counter at Edi's entrance and knew she wasn't purposefully trying to listen to his conversation, but he lowered his voice anyway. 

David could hear Patrick laughing to himself before his husband hung up the phone. 

Edi was all too happy to browse in silence, minding her own business. Something David had always found uncomfortable. Just him and her alone in the store with the soft jazz music playing through the speakers above them. She carried the few items she bought every week as she browsed each shelf making sure there was nothing she had overlooked or hadn't seen been added to the store. David tried not to stare at her every move like a paranoid old man afraid she was shoplifting, but with only the two of them in the relatively small space, there was nowhere else to look.

Only a few more people after Edi decided to stop in before the store closed. David tried to focus all his attention on closing procedures but failed as he kept glancing up at the door so often he had to recount the till four times. Eventually, he got so caught up in focusing on focusing the bell above the door made him jump when it chimed with Patrick's arrival. David held the spritzer bottle midair, useless as he looked Patrick up and down. 

Patrick only grinned at him waiting for David's mind to continue functioning. David closed his mouth and lowered his arm. 

"Hi Patrick, what...I would ask if this was an effortless look, but I happen to know for a fact it wasn't." David smirked at him.

Patrick looked down at himself. "Oh no, David. I chose," he moved in closer, eyes never leaving David's, practically stalking toward the taller man, "each and every," Patrick took another step closer, not one slouch or slump of his shoulders out of place. "piece of clothing with the utmost care." 

He stopped directly in front of David only a few inches separating them. David wanted to fall onto Patrick, pull him close, but his brain was too invested in their verbal tete-a-tete.

"Mmhmm." David half answered half moaned. "And-and what's the occasion?"

David reached out grabbing Patrick's lapel with a gentle hand, this thumb working a small area. Patrick placed a hand on his and pressed himself closer to David, keeping his eye on him, though David tried to lean in a few times. 

"I," Patrick placed his other hand on David's hip, "am taking you," Patrick gave a hard tug pulling David flush against him. David let out a small oh sound but remained mesmerized by Patrick, "to a nice dinner."

David perked up, the topic of food always a high interest. Then he remembered Patrick's suit. The suit David had bought for him for the just-in-case occasions. The suit he decided to wear out to dinner in Schitt's Creek? David looked down at them both and raised his eyebrows. 

"Well that sounds wonderful and you," David ran both of his hands over Patrick's shoulders, "look great, but um," He glanced down at himself again.

He could feel Patrick chuckling through the tremor in his shoulders. "Yours is in the car." 

"Thank you." David whispered. 

"It will be my pleasure." Patrick whispered back. 

A shiver ran down David's spine. Dinner and dessert. He could get used to this. Patrick closed the small space between capturing David's lips, leaving no room for imagination exactly what he meant by "his pleasure". David leaned into the kiss, sealing the deal.

"Dessert before dinner?" David suggested.

Patrick shook his head and leaned in for another kiss. "Patience, David." He grinned his mischievous grin and said against David's lips, "I'll need you with all your energy tonight."

"Oh."

Patrick laughed full and loud and kissed him one more time before pushing David toward the door to grab his suit from the car. 


	6. Tossed Aside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the chapter delay. I work 2 jobs. Please bear with me. I have this entire story planned and I want to write it. I will write it. It'll be slow, but we'll get there. There's so much left for you to see :D
> 
> P.S. "There's so much left for you to see." ~Ark by Veronica Roth (5 Stars)

The night air had a hint of chill. With September fast approaching the holiday cold would be moving in followed closely by the winter freeze. David breathed in the sharp night and only half listened to Leaf as they walked along the food district. David's anxiety had grown too large after leaving Patrick in Rose Apothecary NY for a sit down meal. He convinced Leaf to sample many of the food trucks they could find in the area. Leaf was still finishing off his tacos, while David having eaten all of his food maybe too fast. His stomach churned and gnawed at him, though he couldn't tell if was because he had eaten too fast or if his anxiety was more than he could bear in that moment.

"-but I'm on track for my next story to appear front page. Hilary, is planning a celebration night for me when that happens. You have to come out for that-. David," Leaf bumped David's arm with his shoulder. "are you listening?"

David startled. He hadn't been listening. Not really. He stopped walking and frowned at Leaf.

"I'm sorry, everything with Patrick has gotten complicated." He stared at Leaf who had the deepest crease between his eyebrows. 

Leaf had never been married. And he firmly didn't do complicated. David's anxiety grew by ten and he knew Leaf wasn't the person he needed to talk to.

"Hey, um," David tried to smile but couldn't manage the small action. "do you mind if we pick this up at another time? I really-" David didn't know what he really needed to do.

Talk to Patrick. Absolutely. But how and what would he say. There was no simple conversation that could fix the last year of their lives. There was no real explanation David could offer his husband that would be satisfactory when David only knew for sure that he _wasn't_ sure why everything in his life had suddenly begun to feel like the most important decision he would ever make. Like each new circumstance was a fork in the road he couldn't double back to. No, Leaf was the last person he needed to be with in that moment.

"Sure, David." Leaf answered him with nothing but worry. "Are you okay?" 

David laughed. "No."

"I know have no experiences with a spouse, but you can talk to me if you want."

His chest tightened further. He couldn't feel his breath go in and out of his chest though David was sure it was happening too fast to be considered normal. David shook his head. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know and that was the problem. There was so much going on inside his head, but there were no words to attach to them. 

"No." He blurted. Looking everywhere but at Leaf. "No, it's okay. But I do have to go. I have to..."

Leaf grabbed his shoulders. "Hey!" He said loudly trying to get David to focus. "Hey look at me. Look at me."

David did. His focus on Leaf intense expression. He no longer felt like a tornado that wasn't allowed to move.

"Do you love him?"

The question was so foreign to David. No one had ever had to ask him that about Patrick since the beginning of their relationship. 

"Do you love him?" Leaf repeated with the demand of needing a response. 

David nodded. Then said. "Yes. Yes, I love him. He's my husband."

Leaf nodded once. Short. Curt.

"And does he love you?"

Again the oddity of the question stunted all ability to think. The last thing Patrick said to him the only echo within his brain. _"Let's just get through these ten days, David."_ But the look Patrick had given him, the kiss they had shared, and the last five years together there was no doubt in David's mind. 

"Yes. Yes he loves me."

Leaf smiled and clapped David on the shoulder. "Then you focus on that. All the details that are making everything complicated can be worked through. You just have to try. Focus on loving your husband and the rest will fall into place."

David teared up. He wouldn't doubt Leaf's ability to understand a type of relationship he had never been in before again. 

Clearing his throat David managed, "Thank you."

Leaf smiled and smacked his shoulder again. 

"Want me to walk you back?" He offered. 

David shook his head. 

Leaf pulled him into a quick hug and then continued walking, munching on his taco. David laughed a short burst of laughter at his friend. Leaf was always so matter-of-fact about everything sometimes it pained David, but he was glad for it just then. David was able to control the rest of his rising anxiety and make his way back toward the store. Along the way he dialed Stevie. She picked up despite the hour. 

"David?"

"Hi."

"David, what's happened? Is Patrick okay?"

David cleared his throat. "Patrick is okay. We had a busy day stocking the store."

"Is he there with you?"

David hesitated. "No. I went to dinner with a friend, but Stevie,"

"You went to dinner with a friend? Without Patrick?"

Ugh, "Yes, but Stevie," David tried to speak. 

_ "Let's just get through these ten days, David." _ Patrick's voice kept coming back to haunt him. 

"I messed up Stevie." David blurted.

He could hear Stevie shifting on the other end of the line. He pictured her sitting up in bed or propping herself better on the sofa. "David," she paused, "tell me."

David told her everything. Every detail between him and Patrick since Patrick's arrival in New York. "I messed up Stevie. He's never going to trust me again after this."

Stevie laughed. "That's way over exaggerating, David. Patrick is still head over heels in love with you." She paused again. "You've mentioned Leaf only a few times before. Your mistake does it involve-does it involves him?"

David wanted to say yes right away, but then his stupid brain caught up with what she was asking. "God, Stevie no! Are you kidding me right now?"

"I know David, I'm sorry, but I had to ask."

"Leaf and I are friends. He's straight and I'm married! Wow!"

"Okay, David. Okay. I had to ask." She shifted again. "Then tell me."

David's mind whirred with everything that had gone wrong with him and Patrick over the last year, but his mind kept seeing one thing most of all. "Two months ago,"

"When you left for New York?"

"Yes. Patrick and I had always planned for both of us to come and finish out the launch, but the night before we were to fly out I told him I should come alone." David took a deep breath. "You should have seen him, Stevie. I'll never be able to get the look on his face out of my mind."

"I saw him the day after, David. And every day since. He told me you had gone to get things ready for the opening, but he never told me that part. Why did you go alone?"

David shrugged his shoulders. Hopping onto the subway. He was one short ride away from the store. 

"I screwed up!" David cried into the phone the tightness in his chest returning. "I feel like I don't understand anything anymore. I don't know why I did it."

"David..." Stevie sighed into the phone.

She didn't know what to say to him. David wanted more from her, he wanted all the answers, but he also knew that he had barely offered any information. 

"Whatever it is David you have to fix it and the only way to do that is to talk to Patrick. Be honest."

David nodded and wiped away his tears. 

"This week Stevie it's -it's," David struggled to express everything leading up to this week had been.

"Talk to Patrick, David."

"Night, Stevie."

"Night." 

David didn't need to reach the front entrance of Rose Apothecary NY to know the store was closed. He stopped on the opposite side of the street staring into the dark storefront. His whole body deflated. David slumped against the wall and placed his hand over his face. A loud noise a few streets over caught his attention. More than a few people passed him, cars still steadily going by, but David knew better than to linger in the streets after dark. Alexis already told him she wanted alone time with Drew. If the strain of the last year hadn't taken its toll, if David hadn't strained their relationship further by his doubts then spending their stay in a hotel room together would never have caused such a stir. Patrick never told him where he was staying. David cursed himself because he never asked. 

David went to take out his phone to call Patrick when something fell out of his pocket. With the light of the phone, David found the piece of paper Patrick had handed him earlier. David stared at it confused for a moment before realizing Patrick had handed him a room key. David did a half sob half-laugh at Patrick's selflessness. With a quick internet search, David found which hotel Patrick was staying at and made his way there. He took the commute to calm himself and wipe his face. He knew this would be a long night still. He would be lucky if Patrick allowed him to sleep on the floor much less the same room after that stunt David pulled with Leaf. 

David paused outside of Patrick's door trying to calm his racing heart. This shouldn't be hard. Spending alone time with his husband in a hotel room shouldn't be hard. But it's been two months. And the most they had spoken about anything personal had been that long if not longer. The only conversations they shared since David came to New York had been about the store both in Schitt's Creek and the new opening. David shook his hands and paced back and forth in front of the door. 

_ "Let's just get through these ten days, David." _ Patrick's voice echoed inside his head. 

_ "Do you love him?" _ Leaf's question surfaced again. 

David stopped pacing. His back to the door.

Stevie's advice jumped in with the other voices. _"Be honest."_

David took a deep breath and turned around as the door swung open. 

He froze.

Patrick stood in the doorway staring at him with the most stoic expression David had ever seen him wear. 

"Is it really so hard to come inside, David?"

David took a deep breath.

"Sorry, I was just umm... I was-" David pointed behind him. "making sure I had the right room."

Patrick pursed his lips, eyebrows shooting up to his hairline. "I could hear you pacing outside the room for over five minutes."

There was no smile on Patrick's face or in his voice. 

David fidgeted where he stood. Patrick remained blocking the door.

"Can I come in?" David asked slowly.

"Lose your key?" Patrick asked again his tone too even his face unreadable. 

David shook his head, "No."

Patrick turned and disappeared into the room leaving the door open for David. David caught the door before it could shut all the way and lock him out. He stepped through the room lightly, feeling like a stranger in the presence of his own husband. Patrick had rented a nice single space King room. David smiled at that. One of the more complex purchases they had made after first moving into their house five years ago had been to complete redo their bedroom. The pieces Patrick had for the studio apartment he rented hadn't been quite what either of them wanted for settling into their home. The major difference was that they upgraded the bed from a Queen to a King and ever since then, any night away from home they opted for King bed. Once David had the space to stretch out he couldn't handle a bed of any smaller size. Patrick would argue he was fine whatever they slept in as long as he had something to sleep on, but David knew Patrick enjoyed the extra space as much as he did. 

Patrick stood leaning against the desk on the other side of the room, arms crossed over his chest staring at David. He was already dressed for bed in nothing but his boxers and white t shirt. Only then did David realize he hadn't brought any of his stuff from Alexis' apartment. He frowned. It was too late in the night to go halfway across the city just to disturb Alexis and Drew in order to get his things. He could ask Patrick to borrow some of his clothes, but that made David feel like such a fool in that moment. Patrick would understand, would be kind and generous and not worry about the fact David hadn't brought any of his things with him. But all David could focus on was that he was being needy, being a bother, being the worst thing in their relationship. 

David closed his eyes and breathed in deep. He was over forty years old. He hated that his brain could still make him feel that way especially in front of someone who knew him best, who loved him, who he shouldn't have any reservations about showing his emotions in front of and yet here he was. Not knowing what to say or how to move. He should just go back to Alexis', sleep on her couch, use earplugs.

David looked at Patrick again and hesitated. Then again, he hadn't been alone in the same room as his husband in two months. His husband who was staring at him with a dark edge, but fully open. His husband who was only wearing two thin layers of clothing.

"Hi." David said softly his throat closing from so many emotions and desires. 

Patrick breathed in slow and deep before pushing off the desk and coming to stand in front of David, arms still crossed over his chest. 

"I asked you to stay." Patrick shook his head. "You walked out of that store today, David."

"I know." David wanted to slap himself. 

"Who is Leaf?"

David couldn't say anything at first. For the first time in the eight years he had known Patrick never had he seen him so angry. 

"Patrick," David tried to ease into the conversation. 

"Who is he David?"

"Leaf is a friend. I know what you're really asking me and for one I don't appreciate it."

Alexis telling him to keep his marital problems close to his chest. Leaf asking if he and Patrick still loved each other. Stevie asking first is there was something romantic going on between him and Leaf and now Patrick. David didn't appreciate the insinuations. It was like they didn't even know him. 

"You don't appreciate it?" Patrick blew up. 

Yelling. Throwing his arms out. Staring at David like he had never seen anything so ridiculous in his life. David winced and took a step back. 

"Let me tell you what I don't appreciate, David. My husband not telling me things for months on end. Keeping secrets." Patrick took a step toward David glaring at him the whole time. "My husband deciding to fly off to New York on his own. Shutting me out for months! Acting like he doesn't know me or want me in the same room."

"What!" David yelled back shocked.

Patrick continued. "I don't appreciate my husband refusing to talk to me. Ignoring my blatant need for him to stay by my side while he so very obviously goes on a date with another man. My husband who shows up at my door after being gone for _hours_ with that same man. I don't appreciate being treated this way, David. Tossed aside."

"Patrick! First of all let's get one thing clear," and David was no longer filled with anxiety.

He felt anger in him like he had never known before and he didn't know what to do with it. He didn't know if he could hold onto it. The anger was hot and ugly and burning him from the inside out and he wanted to jump into the deep end of a pool if he thought for one moment that would help. The face the anger was directed at Patrick was beyond any comprehension. David didn't want to fight. He wanted things to be okay again.

"Leaf and I aren't dating. We didn't go on a date. We are not sneaking around. I am not an adulterer. I have never cheated on you." David pressed the bottom of his palms into his temples and turned in a circle trying to direct the flames anywhere but at Patrick. 

Patrick, who was once again looking at him with an open "love me" expression. Patrick, who was only in his boxer and t-shirt making him look so sexy and soft and young and mature all at the same time. David wanted the heat to go away didn't want to be within arm’s reach of Patrick for afraid of burning him, but everything told him Patrick was the only thing that could possible help put the fire out. 

"But when we're in the same room together you take up over half my brain. I haven't tossed you aside. I've tossed myself aside and I'm just trying to find the path that leads me back. This has all been too much, Patrick. All of it and I don't know why."

They remained silent. That admission was more information that David had given him all year. 

_ "Be honest." _ Stevie's voice came to him unbidden again. 

"I'll need something to sleep in tonight. I don't really feel like sleeping in the nude right now." 

Patrick scowled at him and stomped over to the closet. He pulled out a bag and tossed it at David. "Alexis brought this over for you earlier."

The bag landed at David's feet. He stared at it not quite understanding what he was looking at. David picked it up off the floor and opened it. Everything was there. Alexis didn't forget to pack a single item. He had been officially banned to stay with Patrick the remainder of his time in New York. Without looking at him Patrick settled into the bed turning off the bedside lamp on his side. 

"Patrick?" David tried to get his attention.

But Patrick ignored him. David wasn't ready for the conversation to be over. They hadn't talked about anything. Not really, but it was getting late and they had to be at the store in the morning. He was sure Patrick would be trying to wake him before dawn. David shut himself in the bathroom and got himself ready for bed. When he crawled in next to Patrick David did his best not to wake him. Patrick lay on his side, blanket pulled up and face buried into his pillow. 

But David couldn't sleep. He should be concerned about the day, about the fight they just had, about how nothing had gotten resolved. There was so much to be concerned over, but all David could do was think about the fact that he hadn't seen Patrick for the last two months and he was lying beside him. The person he loved most in the world. David settled into the covers and placed himself next to Patrick, at first only allowing the side of his body to make contact with Patrick's back, but then moved to where he was pressing his chest against his husband. Not quite spooning, but not withdrawing contact.

He breathed in deep. Patrick's scent the only dousing agent he needed for the embers still burning inside him. Patrick shifted, putting more of his head on top of his pillow. He shifted to lie on his back, forcing David to scoot over to give him room. Patrick reached out toward David. David made himself comfortable against Patrick's side resting his head on Patrick's chest. Patrick rubbed his hand up and down David's back as they lay there in silence. 

"I never thought you cheated." Patrick whispered to him in the dark. 

David shifted wanting to look at Patrick but kept his head down hoping Patrick would say more.

"I was hurt, David." David could feel the shutter in Patrick's chest as he took a shaky breath. "I was hurt that you chose him over me tonight. A part of me doesn't understand you anymore. The decisions you've begun to make. I thought we were happy?" Patrick whispered the last part.

David scrunched his eyes shut. "We were." David gripped the front of Patrick's shirt to keep him still. "We are. We will be."

"Can you tell me yet? Tell me why you're not happy?"

David lay there in the dark, soaking in Patrick's warmth and David wanted to have an answer for him, wanted everything to be alright, but he didn't and nothing was okay.

"No. I-" He didn't know what to say. There were no words for what he was feeling. "I've missed you."

Patrick pulled at him so David sat up enough to look him in the eye. "I've missed you to, David."

"I should have asked you to come sooner."

"I should have come sooner anyway."

David hesitated. 

_ "Be honest." _ Stevie's words continued to echo.

"I told Stevie it was a mistake to come without you at all. I'm so sorry Patrick." 

Patrick kissed him. At first soft lips meeting, rubbing over each other and then one or both opened their mouths and they took the comfort they both so desperately needed. David knew he would do anything to keep kissing Patrick, to never let two months go between them without contact again. He had been so stupid. They continued kissing. Soft. Slow. Fast. Eager and needy. Tongues, lips, and teeth. They settled back into the mattress, hands caressing and wiping away a few tears.

David didn't want the moment to end. He knew this didn't mean everything between them was fixed. There was still so much work to be done and he had something big to figure out. Why wasn't he happy? He had everything that had ever made him happy? Why had it stopped working? He pulled Patrick closer afraid to let him get too far again. They emotional toll of the day wore on them and soon they cuddled sleep taking them under before either of them were truly ready.


	7. While We Wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the chapter delay. I work 2 jobs. Please bear with me. I have this entire story planned and I want to write it. I will write it. It'll be slow, but we'll get there. There's so much left for you to see :D
> 
> P.S. "There's so much left for you to see." ~Ark by Veronica Roth (5 Stars)

Patrick clicked the mouse button a little too hard for the thousandth time that morning. Refreshing and refreshing his email tab hoping for an email that had so far proven wasn't going to arrive. 

"Patrick," David warned him from across the store, not for the first time. 

Patrick sighed and pushed away from the front counter and coming to stand among the products. 

The day at the store had been slower, the slowest all week. Patrick hated the slow days. Their numbers suffered sure, but he liked being busy more. Slow days meant dusting and inventory and restlessness. But the slow days also meant the freedom to touch and to kiss and maybe steal a little more. David felt Patrick's arms slide around him from behind. He continued dusting the shelves and wiping down the products. Hardly any dust or grime existed in the store, but when business was this slow David didn't know what else to do with himself.

"Tell me," David said to Patrick as he continued to dust.

Patrick placed a few kisses on David's neck as he ran his hands slowly up and down his chest. David leaned into him a moment before pulling himself of out Patrick's reach. Their sexy times in the store had dwindled a fair bit over the years but wasn't entirely gone. David knew when to choose his moments and Patrick being angry at the loan suppliers was not the kind of tension he wanted. 

"We have to do more than wait for the grants to come in." Patrick sighed, his eyes glued to every movement David made around the store.

David stopped with one box in one hand and a bottle of foot lotion in the other. He shrugged his shoulders and waved his hands awkwardly gesturing around the store. "Would you like me to take everything down and put it back on the shelves?"

Patrick shook his head, a smile on the corner of his lips.

"We can't wait for the money to come in to start doing everything else. The work will pile upon us." Patrick elaborated.

David nodded turning his gaze to the lotion in his hands. He placed that bottle on the table and slowly pulled a few more bottles out of the box he was holding, his head never losing that constant bob.

"Like what?" He finally asked Patrick.

Patrick shoved his hands in the pocket of his jeans and moved closer to David. 

"We have the business model," Patrick gestured to the table full of product. "We need the vendors,"

David sucked in a harsh breath. He of course hadn't thought of any of that. Finding clients for Rose Apothecary had never been a problem for them. Of course, if they opened a new store their current clients wouldn't be able to keep up with stock in two different stores and two different locations. A few maybe could but not all of them. Not even close to half of them could handle the doubling of product.

Patrick continued unaware of David's inner monologue. "I have the business plan in place," this time waving a hand at the computer, "after that all we need is the location." 

David's entire body seized. He felt so stupid. Of course, they would need a place to set up the new shop. Place after place flashed through David's mind. And though he knew logically that they weren't ready for an international set up yet, he couldn't help but think about Pairs, Italy, Japan, and markets like Germany, which would be perfect for the Rose Apothecary name. But that tightness in his chest returned.

He wanted to franchise. He did. He did. He wanted the "more" the franchise promised. With the added income more stores would be possible and the more locations they owned the more David knew they were on track to having that lifestyle he had left back in New York all those years ago. His chest tightened further. His brows lowered over his eyes. He could show Patrick so much, share so much of the world with him, but their life in Schitt's Creek was everything, precious and David didn't want to mess that up.

But he wanted the more.

He wanted everything to stay the same.

He wanted...

Patrick was staring at him. A crease of his own between his brows. David quickly finished putting the foot lotion on display and walked the empty box to the back of the counter tossing it on the floor for the moment so he could finish his discussion with Patrick. Patrick moved up to the front of the counter David was still standing behind. David took the moment to take in his husband and being able to soak in Patrick calmed the tightness in his chest. The worry crease between Patrick's brows increased as he visibly watched David relaxed. David only smiled at him. Patrick had been showing off his longer locks the past few years.

David smirked. He loved running his fingers through Patrick's hair as he walked through the store as a subconscious movement the need to touch overcoming David, when they were home and watching a movie rhythmically rubbing Patrick's head as they lay on the couch, the heavy strands sliding through his fingers when they were having sex and Patrick was swallowing him, massaging him, David couldn't help but anchor himself to the top of Patrick's head, finger latched, weaved through his hair, when their bodies were moving together and their hands were roaming, when the pressure was building David loved shoving his hands deep into Patrick's hair holding his husbands face to his, keeping him close, pulling to make Patrick moan, and on days where they were out enjoying the town, exploring Elmdale, or pursuing new vendors, David loved stopping them in whatever they were doing and pulling Patrick close, sinking his hands, his nose, his lips, into Patrick's longer hair, touching him, kissing him, taking in everything that was... Patrick. 

Patrick leaned on the counter putting himself physically closer to David. David watched as his toned arms strained against the sleeves of the button up he was wearing. Watched as his chest was outlined by the pull of the fabric, and his hair, catching the light from the windows behind him, making him glow, making David wish he had a camera, that he had paints and brush, a time capsule to bottle that vision of Patrick for him to keep forever. David watched as the shorter part of Patrick's hair around his eyes fell forward blocking David's view of his favorite sight. David reached out and ran the errant hard between his fingers. Patrick's eyes watched the movement a light smile on his lips. David tucked the hair into the side of Patrick's head and leaned in closing the small space between them capturing Patrick's lips with his own. They stayed that way for a good handful of minutes, kissing, David running his fingers through Patrick's hair, their hands interlocked, as they both leaned over half of the counter. David pulled back but kept their finger interlocked. 

"So what do you think?" Patrick asked him. 

David frowned. "About what?"

Patrick smiled at him shaking his head. David's attention caught on the movement of Patrick's hair. Patrick had mentioned getting it cut soon. David had not been too happy about that. He knew Patrick had kept the length for this long solely for David, but he was getting more and more ready to cut off the length and David knew he would soon. He forced himself to look away and back to Patrick himself.

"About scouting locations?" Patrick clarified. 

David frowned. "Don't you think it's a little soon to be finding a storefront?"

Patrick shrugged. "For deciding on one, maybe. But scouting around finding the perfect city or town, no? I think the sooner we start trying to find the ideal location we'll have an easier time picking a place."

"Did you have a place in mind?"

Patrick stood up from his full height. David followed his movements. "I thought you would have a stronger idea about hat actually."

"You did?" David asked scrunching his nose. He was flattered but he hadn't been brainstorming this idea the way Patrick had been. 

"Yes, David." Patrick clipped a smile in his voice. "I've lived in my hometown and here. I haven't traveled as you have."

That made David paused. He had traveled. Far, wide, and often in his younger years, before coming to Schitt's Creek. Sometimes he forgot. His life in Schitt's Creek had quickly become so different, he had become a different person and started building a life that in no way resembled his time before moving to their sleepy little town. He could picture their store sitting comfortably in any of the places he had ever visited. In those types of markets, David knew the store would thrive, become more successful and elaborate than anything Schitt's Creek had been able to do. Their new store in places like those would quickly eclipse their home store in every way. 

"I-I don't know," David said slowly. 

He didn't. David had several ideas of places that were too much, too- a part of his past. Beautiful and perfect in their own way, but not for Rose Apothecary's second location. He frowned. 

"We could open another store close by," David suggested slowly. The ideas surfacing faster and faster and he talked through the barely-there idea for the first time, trying to have some concrete answer for Patrick. "Juggling two of them won't be easy, having the store a small road trip or train ride away wouldn't feel like so much."

Patrick nodded, but his head cocked to the side frowning a little. "Is it too much, David?"

David shot Patrick an annoyed look. All the years he and Patrick had been together he still hadn't learned to control his face, his voice. He was now as always an open book. In times like this, he hated it. When he wanted people to take him for his words and not pick up on his own anxiety or insecurities, feelings, and thoughts he was nowhere near ready to verbalize yet.

“What?” David responded.

He thought sometimes that all of this was too much, but he had already told himself this is what he wanted. And Patrick… Patrick was doing so much, pretty much all of the work at this point. David knew he needed to start pulling his weight and Patrick was right. Finding a location was the perfect job for him.

Patrick acted like he was going to say more, but then only returned David’s smile.

“Let me think about it,” David said, picking up the box he had tossed behind the counter and moved to the back to put in the bin meant for the dumpster.

When David returned from the stock room Patrick had taken up his place at the computer reading over a spreadsheet that made David’s eyes go cross-eyed. Upon closer look, it was more lists than a spreadsheet but there were still several tables amongst the bullet points that scrambled David’s brain.

“This isn’t a luxury vacation,” Patrick pressed.

David rolled his eyes. They had never taken a luxury vacation. He had, but never him and Patrick. Small weekend trips yes, but nothing that warranted the title of vacation. He looked at Patrick and nodded seriously anyway, but Patrick was reading the computer screen.

“We will need to find the locations, scout them, draw up a list of the pros and cons to help better find everything we want in one place, and then begin working on securing the building.” Patrick did turn to David then. Leaning in. Driving his point home. “And we do not have months, David. We have one, maybe one and a half at the most to lock in some serious contenders.”

David’s mouth fell open. “A month!” He put pressure at both temples shaking his head. "In a month, Patrick? That's impossible!"

"David, it's not. You-" Patrick tried reasoning, but David continued talking over him. 

"We can't possibly find a place in a month, Patrick. That's... ugh! There's too much to consider."

"There is!" Patrick shouted triumphantly like David finished making the exact point Patrick was trying to. "David," Patrick turned away from the computer and took both of David's hands in his own. "We don't need to find the exact location in a month. We'll need a list of good, probable places to start the search. In at least three months we'll won't need to pin down a place."

"But," David frowned. "That's still so little time." 

Patrick nodded.

They stood together silent. Each ruminating over the project, the details growing by the day, the to-do list seemingly never ending. David was still frowning, the lines in his forehead prominent. Patrick smiled at him, at his forehead. David would insist he didn't have forehead creases, but Patrick loved them. He loved everything about David.

"David," Patrick whispered. David's eyes snapped to his. "We pin down a few places, good viable locations, and then we can go there and really get a feel for them." 

Patrick's eyebrows were raised he heavy smile on his lips. His grin getting wider every second David stared at him confused. David ran his hands up Patrick's arms and took a hold of his shoulders, rubbing them. 

"We'll get to travel?" David asked slowly, like he thought Patrick was playing a trick on him. "This year?" 

David rolled his eyes immediately at his own question. Of course they would travel this year. To get the store off the ground before the new year hit finding a location for their new store pretty much automatically meant they would get to travel. 

Patrick stepped closer into David's embrace. "Not only will we get to travel this year, we'll get to travel a whole lot within the next three months and then I'm sure even more than that closer to opening."

"Mm-hmm" David hummed. "And we can do that? Travel?"

Patrick moved in closer. His voice softening, his lashes fluttering from David's eyes to his lips. "For the store? Absolutely. I've already budgeted for it. As long as we think about this carefully." 

David didn't get a chance to answer. Patrick captured him in a languid kiss. David found himself leaning against the front counter, his back to the door, as Patrick pushed further into him. Five years. Five years married to Patrick and David was only just realizing he had never travelled with Patrick. Short day trips to vet vendors, small weekends out in the surrounding towns, but not days after taking a plane or driving for half a day to relax in some nice hotel and not worrying about anything but the two of them. No sight seeing tours or debonair dates. David pushed harder into the kiss because he realized then he was thinking more of a honeymoon than a vacation which their trips in the next few months wouldn't be, especially since they were going to be work trips. But a honeymoon? David thought maybe he wanted one of those now too. Would their be time to take a honeymoon before opening the store? After? How had they let five years go by without taking the time alone just the two of them to celebrate their marriage.

David didn't have any more time to think about trips he and Patrick were or were not taking. The bell above the door dinged loud in their ears. Patrick pulled away quickly, breath harsh. David's taller frame hid Patrick from sight of the door. David turned around, a little dazed, but was able tot greet the customer. 

"Hello, feel free to let me know if I can help you find something."

The man nodded. "Thanks, just looking around for now." 

Patrick stepped out from behind David and moved to the floor to clear their restocking boxes they had left on one of the display tables, forgotten until that moment. 

David thought the task would be hard, but a few weeks after Patrick asked him to look into potential locations he found one not a two days from their home town. He found the task set to him lit his creative brain and he breathed it in with vigor. He hadn't taken up a new project in awhile, outside of their ideas to get a new branch of Rose Apothecary up and running. David liked the mental energy it took to research and plan and scope and create a vision for their business' new home. Yes, he liked the whole thing very much. 

David didn't show his selection right away. He bookmarked the property on his web browser and continued to try and find others to compare it too. After a few days David knew he found the first liable property and book marked it when all other comparisons fell short. His list of features to look for was also amassing it's own life, whittling down to the most important things he knew he wanted for the buildings and surrounding area. 

They had spent the day at home, one of the rare occasions they weren't at the store or running errands in Elmdale. They spend the whole day doing light house work, enjoying individual projects, and already several time that morning going for a few rounds tossing the sheets. Patrick was stretched out on the couch looking perfectly happy and satisfied as he read a book. David could feel Patrick glancing at him, his gaze holding every few pages. He could feel Patrick's stare tingle up his spine every time as he tried to concentrate on his computer screen with the important franchise research he was trying to conduct. 

David only sat a few feet from Patrick, curled up on the over sized arm chair, laptop balancing on the arms. They were sitting close enough together that David could extend his arms and just reach Patrick's ankle that was resting on top of the couch arm. He did just that making Patrick jump a little as he lay his book flat on his chest looking up at David. David did a lazy drum of his fingers against the flesh of Patrick's ankle smiling at him. 

"Can I help you?" Patrick asked teasingly. 

David shrugged, his fingers turning to a long stroke rather than a tap. He turned his attention back to his laptop, trying to stop his smile from growing wider as Patrick was still staring at him. "My hand needed a rest." 

Patrick grinned at him. "You have been working hard over there. We're supposed to be resting."

"That's not what you said a few hours ago when you had me bent over the bed." 

Patrick gave a short belly laugh. "You didn't complain then."

"I'm not complaining now." David's fingers stretched up Patrick's leg as far has he could reach them, still not turning away from the screen. 

He kept looking over the details of the property, trying to picture Rose Apothecary running in that building as it does day to day in Schitt's Creek. He could see it. David could see the life of the store happily settled there so perfectly, it warmed every part of him. But first he wanted to see how far he could push Patrick before David showed him. 

"David," Patrick sighed happily in a whisper. He leaned his head back, his book still forgotten on his chest. 

That alone had David finally turning to look at his husband. Five years of marriage and sometimes the ideal of their life together still tripped him up. How did he get so lucky? He was more in love with the man on his couch that he had been at the beginning of their relationship, on their wedding day, and through the years since. The love never seemed to have a cap, a place where it leveled out. It kept growing. Stronger, better, different, and more with every passing year. 

David took his hand back from Patrick's ankle. Patrick's gaze snapped to him, with the removal of David's touch, but David didn't replace his hand on Patrick's ankle. David struggled himself off the chair he was sitting on bringing his laptop with him. He stood in front of the couch at Patrick's foot drying to indicate that he wanted to sit down. Patrick removed the book from his chest and sat up. David sat down practically on Patrick's lap as he settled into Patrick's side. David angled the screen toward Patrick waiting patiently for him to scan the page and understand what David was showing him.


	8. I Can't Tell Him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the chapter delay. I work 2 jobs. Please bear with me. I have this entire story planned and I want to write it. I will write it. It'll be slow, but we'll get there. There's so much left for you to see :D
> 
> P.S. "There's so much left for you to see." ~Ark by Veronica Roth (5 Stars)

David woke up alone in the hotel room again. He rubbed his hand over the empty space on Patrick's side of the bed. He pushed back a lump in his throat. He had been staying up late to research and email vendors and potential clients he had been scoping out around the city. Patrick had been getting up early, as usual, to get the store prepped and running in the morning, going over all the smaller details with Laney. Patrick had been in New York for three days and nothing more had been said between them. 

David readied himself to meet Patrick at the store. They had done nothing but talk about the store, vendors, plans, and details during the day, and having lunch with Alexis and sometimes Drew. At night they would come back to the hotel. Patrick would wind down watching baseball, have a drink, talking over the plans for the store the next day, while David spent his time moving through his skincare routine, perhaps more slowly than he would have normally, and sat on his side of the bed going over emails, leaving voicemails, and researching artisans in the area well known or otherwise. They didn't talk about them or what would happen once it was time to go back home. 

David frowned at himself in the mirror. As much as there was to discuss with Patrick, David hadn’t pulled away completely. He sighed because he knew he had done that already, long before he had left for New York. And David knew that Patrick knew and... David leaned both hands against the sink and took a deep breath. They were seven days away from launch. Seven days away from one of their biggest dreams. He and Patrick should be so incredibly happy, over the moon, unable to keep the excitement from leaking through every part of them. His phone dinged with an alert. David pushed off the sink and took a look. The extra stock he ordered would be arriving at the store soon. He needed to get going and with one final look in the mirror decided he would steer him and Patrick back on track. Before he could leave the room his phone pinged again. 

He paused, the door standing opening, and looked down at the calendar reminder. _Fuck!_ He thought as he stormed his way to the store, anxiety gnawing at him, the reminder blinking up at him from his notification list. Yes, he wanted to get them back to normal so they could enjoy this launch, but-David looked down at the notification again. This he couldn't tell Patrick and instead of trying to reconnect with Patrick he would be spending the whole day trying to figure out a way to meet this appointment without raising suspicion. On the subway David texted Alexis. 

"I need your help. Are you free this afternoon?"

She didn't text back immediately. She never did.

"Don't make me beg." David sent her just before he got off the subway after not hearing from her the entire ride. 

He was almost to the store when Alexis finally decided to text him back. 

"Ugh, what David? I'm very busy today."

"I need you to stop by the store and come with me to meet a vendor."

"David, what?" This time she did text back instantly. "You have Patrick there. You should be asking Patrick."

"I can't ask Patrick. I just need you to drop by the store today."

"David, what's going on? Why won't you ask Patrick?"

"Because Patrick is busy today!"

"I really am busy today, David."

"Alexis, I really need you to stop by today around 1:00. Please."

"Ew, David. Okay. Okay, but you're going to tell me everything. Including why you aren't telling Patrick."

"Be there by 1:00."

By this point, he was standing outside Rose Apothecary NY waiting to finish his conversation with Alexis before walking inside. Patrick's back was to the door and neither Patrick nor Laney had seen him standing outside yet. No, he couldn't tell Patrick, Alexis had been wrong about that, but David didn't know if he should tell her either. One thing he did know was that he wanted to keep his resolve of trying to fix the distance he had created between them all those months ago. 

The moment David walked into the store Patrick rounded on him. David's plan to kiss him on the cheek in greeting dashed away with Patrick's emotions. 

"David, what is all this? What did you do?"

"What!" David cried immediately. "I didn't do anything." He cleared his throat. "What, what's happening?"

Patrick swept his hand over the store, "This, David. What is all this." 

There were unopened boxes all over. The shipment David was expecting arrived early. And just from the first glance, David could see that they had all gotten mixed up. He sighed looking at the work it would take to reorganize them again by vendor. David didn't keep the inventory, not fully, but he did do his best to always keep things organized so Patrick's job of keeping the numbers wouldn't be harder. 

"Why are they everywhere?" David exclaimed.

"The better question," Patrick started coming around the table closer to David. "is why are they here?"

David tensed in anticipation of Patrick's nearness. Images flashed through his mind. Them in Rose Apothecary pushing each other against the tables in order to get closer, heavy make-out sessions the stock room, happy glances from across the store, relaxing between customers and enjoying each others company in so many ways. David took a step closer to Patrick. 

"To stock the store, Patrick."

David smiled at him. He noticed the exact moment Patrick clocked his proximity a crease forming between his brows. 

"David, we don't need all of this. This is way too much. I didn't know you'd be buying all of this." 

David walked up close to Patrick before he could overthink it, before Patrick could put some distance between them, and kissed his cheek, lingering, before pulling back. Patrick remained perfectly still, staring at David with his mouth slightly open, his eyes searching David with a piercing rake. 

"David," Patrick breathed before continuing with a stronger tone. "it's too much."

David didn't know if he were referring to the stock or to the kiss, but David could only focus on one thing at a time. "Is it? Is it too much?" 

David moved and picked up one of the boxes and took it over the dumb waiter in the corner behind the counter. "Everything will need to be stored with the other preliminary stock in the basement. Why you let it all get unloaded there is what's "too much"."

"Why I let it get unloaded here?" Patrick repeated. "If I had known it was coming I wouldn't have it all sitting in the middle of the store. David, we don't have time to catalog this much more stock in time for opening. We aren't going to be able to sell all this by the time,"

"Patrick it's fine. Go downstairs and start taking the boxes off the elevator and sort them by the vendor. I'll keep sending them down and then come help you."

Patrick was nodded, but he wasn't headed toward the storage stairs that led down to their basement space and instead stood beside David at the dumb waiter. 

"And when you get down there we are going to talk about this some more."

David tried to nod, but much like earlier when Patrick froze when he kissed his cheek, David lost all ability to function when Patrick gave him a quick kiss on the lips. Patrick patted his shoulder, a tight smile on his lips, and headed down to the basement storeroom. From his position at the top near the dumb waiter, David couldn't see Patrick at all. He thought he heard a grunt every now and then when the boxes were lifted off and before the little elevator was sent back up, but David found the inspiration to move faster so he could spend more time in the stock room with Patrick. The exchange of affection was quite exhilarating and that thought alone had him rolling his eyes at himself. Five years of marriage and he was getting excited by the mere fact of a few touches and light kisses with Patrick.

What had they become? 

Every minute they were down in the storeroom Patrick's irritation grew. David watched him from the corner of his eye, trying to stay focused on counting jars and giving Patrick the correct count. David noted they would need to get a few more shelves to store everything. Patrick huffed again as he tried putting more product onto an overflowing shelf and almost knocked two jars of hand cream to the floor. He managed to catch everything in time before anything crashed to the ground. David rolled his eyes. He thought working down here with Patrick would put them both in some kind of mood. He had just been hoping for more of the flirty variety rather than the annoyed. 

"You don't have to take everything out of the boxes," David said. 

Patrick looked up at him, throwing him a small glare. "David, why did you order all of this? This is going to make me rearrange everything I've already done for the store's budget for," Patrick did some quick math in his head, "the next three months at least."

"This isn't Schitt's Creek, Patrick," David said with a wave of his hand. "stock is going to sell out faster than you can know."

Patrick sighed. As he placed one new jar on the self another fell and this time he wasn't fast enough to catch it before it crashed to the floor in a shower of glass and cream and annoyance. Patrick shot David a look like it had been his fault. David only frowned at Patrick as his husband dashed upstairs to get a few cleaning supplies. When he came back down David had managed to get most of the stock he had taken out of the new boxes and put them back in. Patrick watched him with deep interest but didn't say anything to him about keeping the stock in the boxes. But he couldn't let the issue go completely.

"David, this is still too much. You shouldn't have ordered all of this."

"Hey," David said waving a finger at him. "you always say that and tell me what a great job I did about being able to predict how much product we'll need."

"I don't doubt your abilities, David. But all of this,"

Without thinking about it, David took Patrick under his hands by rubbing over his shoulders getting Patrick to face him instead of the inventory. "Hey, it's going to be fine. I promise. We'll find ourselves needing to order more before your three months have even had a chance to produce a good average."

Patrick only stared at him, relaxing under David's attention. David felt the shift in the room. "David," Patrick said slowly, "you-we..." He couldn't manage to get a sentence out. 

"I know there's a lot we still need to figure out," David whispered. Patrick nodded, his face and expression soft watching David, eyes flying over every part of his face. "but I hate the distance between us."

"I'm right here, David. I don't want the distance either, but I don't know if I can just ignore the last year."

David closed his eyes and craned his neck backward breathing in deeply.

"Can you tell me?"

David stared at him. Could he tell Patrick what had been bothering him? Was telling him that he didn't know what was wrong any kind of answer? David gripped Patrick's shoulders, the fabric of his shirt bunching up in his fist. The wounded look Patrick was giving him was too much. David shook his head, but then ducked and captured Patrick's lips. They had spent too much time in the last half of the year not talking, not touching, not being the couple they always had been and David was tired of it. He couldn't put anything to words yet, but he longed to feel Patrick against his skin. 

Patrick pulled away from the kiss, but when David chased after him, lips seeking, Patrick pushed forward, and they were in a battle David didn't know how to navigate. They had never been at odds like this before. There were so much pain and anger, giving and demands in this small war of theirs. Patrick pushed David up against the shelf pushing his body to the front of David. If the shelf hadn't been emptied of its overflow they would have had more bottles find their demise. David grunted, his body protesting the strength at which his back had been pushed into the shelf. But he pushed back against Patrick wanting to feel him. 

David's heart broke for his husband. They had enjoyed all kinds of emotional sex throughout their relationship, but this was a first. David almost laughed at the novelty of the idea that they could still have firsts. His hands ran through Patrick's hair that he still hadn't gotten cut, the thick locks falling just over his ears, pulling on him, tilting Patrick's head to the angle he wanted. His hands traveled down Patrick's strong and muscled back, over his ass, arms, shoulders, neck, hair, ass, back, over and over again. Patrick's hands were doing the same. He had one leg raised and hitched over David's hip, pushing their centers together, thrusting over their clothing. 

David's phone dinged once. He ignored it not wanting to pull away from Patrick. 

His phone dinged again and then a third time in rapid succession. 

David reluctantly pulled away from Patrick to take his phone out of his back pocket. Patrick didn't waste a moment and attached himself to David's neck. David kept his other hand on the back of Patrick's head, fingers tangled in his hair. There were three messages all from Alexis. 

"Fuck." David whispered. 

He leaned down and captured Patrick's lips again in one last kiss before detangling himself from Patrick's vice grip. 

"Alexis is upstairs." He cleared his throat, voice rough. 

"I'm going to need a minute."

David nodded biting his lip. Could he tell Patrick? But he stomped up the stairs leaving Patrick to collect his breath. 

David found Alexis leaning against the counter talking to Laney. When she saw him she gave a little hop. 

"David," she whined. "Can we go, please? I am very busy today." She wiped her hair away from her forehead. 

"Where are you guys headed?" Patrick asked from behind David. David hadn't heard him come up the stairs.

Every muscle in his body stiffened. His eyes grew big at Alexis. Both she and Laney stared at him in confusion, but Alexis took his cue. 

"David wanted to show me something. We won't be long, Patrick."

Patrick came in David's eye line, looking at him carefully, calculating his every minute movement. "David?"

"We won't be long."

Patrick swallowed hard, his expression going from open and expectant for the information David was sure to give, to closed and brooding at David's refusal to divulge any information. David could still feel the pressure of Patrick's hands on his body and his husband's lips on his neck. David rubbed at the spot on his neck that Patrick had given the most attention. Patrick's eyes flicked with the movement, and a satisfied smirk crossing over his lips. Could he tell him? It shouldn't be a hard thing, not something about David that Patrick didn't know, but had not been seen for a long time. But David gave a small, almost imperceptible shake of his head. 

"I meant to tell you earlier," Patrick said flatly. David winced. He didn't like emotionless Patrick when it was directed at him. "we have some interviewees coming in today. I need you here to go through the candidates with me."

David nodded. "I'll be back in a couple of hours." 

He moved past Patrick and up to Alexis ushering her out the door. 

"Half the interviews will be over by then," Patrick said his tone sharp, a warning.

David knew keeping Patrick in the dark about his own thoughts or decisions wouldn't last much longer. He didn't know how to tell him, not yet, but he also didn't want to push Patrick to his breaking point. They had gotten there only once during their marriage and David had hoped to never see it again. But even _that_ was not this and this was nothing David had a map for. 

"Then I'll be here for the second half," David said with a bit more force than he had intended. 

The remaining softness disappeared from Patrick's face and the shadows in his eyes darkened. David sighed. No amount of physical intimacy between them would help when their words weren't soothing internal wounds. They would have time for wrapping gauze with their lips to mend those hurts later. David's phone beeped at him. A reminder he had set to get going before he was late with his appointment. After that, he pushed Alexis out the door waving goodbye to Patrick and Laney. Alexis managed to squeak out a bye before being fully pushed out of Rose Apothecary NY.

"Come on." David ushered Alexis along down the street away from the windows of the store in case Patrick was watching after them, though David knew he wouldn't be. 

Alexis shook off David's hand with a huff. "Ew, stop it, David. These shoes were expensive.

David rolled his eyes. "It's fine. Thank you for coming by."

Alexis pursed her slips to stop a smile staring at him. 

"What?" David asked her. 

"Well, are you going to tell me what you dragged me out here for?"

David knitted his brows at her frowning. "What do you mean? That was it."

Alexis shook her head. "What was it?"

David waved his hands at the store that was well beyond their sight down the street. "To come and take me out of the store."

Alexis stopped walking. David didn't. 

"What are you talking about, David?" Alexis asked in one of the most serious tones David had ever heard her use. 

David stopped walking and turned to face Alexis not bothering to close the distance between them. 

"You said you were busy. I just needed an excuse to leave. Go and do everything you need to. I've got stuff to do too."

Alexis didn't move. She just stared at him at first with her mouth open and then with her becoming more and more narrow. 

"You needed me to leave the store?"

"Yes." David said already tired of the conversation. 

"But you needed me to do it?" Alexis clarified. 

David gave several shakes of head, "Yes!"

He turned to start walking. He needed to keep moving or he'd be late. 

"David don't walk away." Alexis whined but hurried after him. 

"Ugh, Alexis it's fine. Go do what you need to do."

"No David!" Alexis said forcibly while keeping up with David's hurried stride. "Tell me why you wanted to sneak out of the store."

David made a noise in his throat. "I didn't sneak out."

"You had me help you sneak out, David. "

"It's business, Alexis."

"Business you couldn't tell Patrick?"

David glanced at her out the corner of his yes, his deep frown appearing across his lips, but he didn't say anything. 

"Okay," David waving a hand in front of Alexis face. "I don't know what you're talking about. You go do your lil thing Ms. I'm-so-busy-today-David and I'll go and do my thing."

"David," Alexis whined instantly. "Stop it." She began walking again grabbing David's arms and linking them together. "tell me."

"Alexis," David grumbled turning his face upward and squinting his eyes closed. 

"Why didn't Patrick first come with you?"

David sighed. "Because I asked him not to."

Alexis pursed her lips but didn't say anything. She only regarded him with an open look, a frown on her lips. 

"And where are you going now? Why couldn't you tell Patrick?"

David sighed again. He regarded her carefully, remembering all of their fights, everything they had always shared with each other and David wanted to tell her. He knew he could, but he wasn't ready yet. Since he stayed behind in Schitt's Creek he and Alexis talked often through video chat, but it was different than when they were squished together in one room. He relied more and more on Stevie, but David found that over years he began to tell her less and less when it came to things about his relationship. Stevie was Patrick's friend too and they both went to her for advice. He soon began to see what kind of position he was putting them all in when it came to discussing his marriage. Though Stevie was his best friend, he learned to keep his marriage private, at least the problems throughout his marriage private. This past year hadn't been an exception. 

"We've been having some issues the past six months or so." David confessed to her. 

Saying that much felt like the smallest pebble out of a whole pile of stones had been taken from his chest and flung far. 

Alexis' eyes bugged out as she stared at him, squeezing his arms, wanting him to say more. 

"Well, _I_ have. Issues." David said truthfully. "I started seeing a therapist again and Patrick doesn't know."

David cleared his throat. 

"David what's happened between you and Patrick?"

"It started when we decided to open up another location."

Alexis shook her head. "But you had always sounded so excited about that."

"I was." David rushed on quickly. "I am."

"I don't understand, David."

David shrugged. "I don't know how to explain it. That's why I'm in therapy. My therapist, Nathan, has been helping to understand my feelings through the last year."

"And is it working? Is he being helpful?"

David nodded swallowing down more emotions. "I think so."

"Can you tell me, David." 

David shrugged and didn't say anything. He continued leading Alexis through the city, keeping her at his side even though the strength of the crowd wanted to drag her away like an angry tide pulling him away from the safety of the shore. She kept her arm linked through his. They were nearing Nathan's office, but David wasn't ready to let her go yet. He placed her hand over hers. 

"The new opening made me realize, I want more."

"More of what, David?" 

David shrugged again. "That's what Nathan is helping with." He stopped them outside of the building. "But it took way too long for me to realize that much, even more for me to decide I needed to speak with a professional and during all of that," David hung his head. "during all of this Patrick and I stopped being us and it's my fault. Patrick has tried to keep everything the same, but it's impossible."

"David," Alexis breathed his name sadly. 

"I think," David pushed back the tears. "I think Patrick is ready to leave. He's stepped away and though we have," David searched around for the right word, "moments, they're laced with everything else and I think after the launch and the when things settles down he's going to ask to take a further step back. From me."

"No, David. Patrick loves you."

David nodded vigorously. "And I love him. I just," David heaved a big sigh. "I just want _more_ and Patrick showing up this early has really made a few things clear."

"What things?"

"The past few months I've been with you, away from Patrick, have felt the same as those last few months I was with Patrick, before coming here."

Alexis was rubbing his arm. David wiped away the few tears that were slipping down his face. 

"You can't let this come between you and Patrick, David. You'll both figure it out. You love each other too much."

David nodded, but he didn't know if he believed her. 

"Have you told him anything?"

"No. He won't understand. He was happy with our lives, the store, the expansion. He wouldn't understand. I can't tell him."

"But David, if you don't talk to him, tell him everything that's bothering you he won't understand what went wrong. And it's not fair for you not to give him that opportunity. All of this between you, everything you say that is going wrong, he can't help fix if he doesn't have the facts."

"He'll leave. I just need to understand it myself first."

"You said he might be getting ready to leave anyway." Alexis pointed out. "At least give him all the details. David, Patrick loves you, I can't see him walking away from you just because you're not sure of exactly what you want."

David shook his head. "You sound like Nathan."

Alexis preened at the praise, her smile lighting up her face, her eyes narrowing to slits. "Thank you."

David huffed a shaky laugh. "But I can't tell him. I can't. Not yet."


End file.
